Haywire

I know I said I was going to post another movie review of another superhero movie but I saw Haywire recently and so I guess this one is going to take precedence.

Haywire--I consider it a Jason Bourne type story with a female instead of a male and with a weaker storyline. It was alright.


The Breakdown (Spoilers)


The good:

+Most of the male cast: Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, Michael Angarano: They were all fantastic. I haven't seen Michael Douglas in anything for a while and he really played the politician very well, with that attitude of "the greater good" and "for the country". Michael Fassbender played the secret agent well, dangerous and cunning although I'm not sure how much of a stretch it was for him. Bill Paxton didn't have much of a role but he was convincing as the main character's father. Ewan McGregor is the only one who really shines in this movie. That man could act the hell out of a phonebook, he's so talented. He has such fantastic range and has gone from the integrity of Obi-Wan Kenobi to the deviousness of the Camerlengo in Angels and Demons, from the boyish naivety and hopeful longing in Moulin Rouge to the cynicism of a solider in Black Hawk Down. Just watching The Island (a horrible movie btw, I don't recommend it), he was the best thing about that movie. The difference between the clone and the original is large and perfectly acted by McGregor. But ANYWAY. His portrayal of a weasely faced jilted ex-lover of Mallory Kane who just happens to be the head of a major security firm is perfect. Dangerous enough but almost pitiable, someone you could just look at in revulsion, which she obviously did, when instead of killing him, she was just going to leave him on the beach to drown as the tide came in because he wasn't worth her time and he wasn't a threat anymore. Antonio Banderas played the not-so-innocent foreign government worker to a tee...and proved that he can really act. I had started to forget after his Shrek appearances and spin-offs. Michael Angarano I haven't seen in a while either but he had pretty good comedic timing and did the whole "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" schtick very well.

+The action: Very realistic, very shocking, very compelling to watch. There were no additions of punch sounds or wire work. Everything was in the realm of possibility and had the added depth of two people actually fighting for their lives.

+Gina Carano's character and fighting skills: There's nothing more I like better than watching a woman kick a grown man's ass, add a few more men and it gets pretty ridiculously great. She does all her own stunts, and she has the athletic body type that I can understand that when she punches someone they go down and stay down. She is not a delicate little flower that must be protected, but a dangerous weapon. Once you see her in action you can understand why her character was considered the biggest asset of the security firm. I like her character, or at least what you get to see of it in the tiny amount of character building the movie allows. That whole stereotypical, women spies(well I guess she's considered a body guard type...thing but you know what I mean) are always placed as the distraction, to "seduce the rich guy" to get information, which I guess I can understand and in this one she sort of has to do that as well but I like how she does not feel comfortable with it, that she says that she was never the type to do that. And she does some pretty sick stuff when it comes to action stunts, stuff I've never seen before.

The eh:

+Channing Tatum: That boy must...stop...or get better at acting or something. He was alright in She's the Man but then he was playing a teenage boy who wasn't too bright, and kinda was mostly an object to be looked at. He didn't have to get very deep or anything and I feel like his acting's gotten worse as the years have gone by. In this one, it took all I could to stop myself from gouging my eyes out every time he pursed or pouted his ridiculously humongous looks-collagen-enhanced lips. Pursing your lips is not acting...neither is keeping your eyes half-lidded.  AND HE DIES BUT HE DOESN'T DIE. I guess it's become sort of a thing for me, but I always thought that acting dead was sort of fascinating. Well acting in general but dead specifically. Maybe it was all the crime shows but if someone dies, I watch really closely to see if they are still "alive" and here HE WAS. He dies and he supposedly takes his last breath but if you watch closely, actually not even that closely, I could see his chest still moving up and down and his eyelids fluttering. Even my mother who doesn't really pay close attention to things asked me if he was dead. Now that I consider bad acting. All you have to do is lay still and hold your breath and look ahead...even I can do that.

+Gina Carano's acting: Well it is her first acting job and so I can understand that she wouldn't be as experienced or as comfortable with acting but it still wasn't the greatest. I think it was her delivery of the lines that annoyed me. It just seemed wooden and stiff. And she did this lip biting thing ALL THE TIME that annoyed me to no end. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a nervous thing or if she was trying to subconsciously seduce everyone but...it bothered me a lot.

+The Cinematography: There were a lot of what I call "artsy-fartsy" shots that had absolutely nothing to do with the movie but were just added because they looked pretty. A lot of the movie was "artsy-fartsy" actually, to the deliberate choice for minimal music and the lighting. I guess I'm sort of biased against those types of movies that try to be all intellectual about film and all that because I just like watching movies to have a good time rather than try to analyze every little thing but that's just me. So a lot of the shots were from "interesting" angles and of the scenery or a close-up of a face but no dialogue in the shot. But alright.

+The plot: Was weak and thin in content. It was never made clear who the characters were or what was going on. Steven Soderbergh also directed the Ocean's trilogy so he has a love of revealing everything at the VERY END but even then it didn't make much sense, like why Mallory was on the run, why they put a hit out on her, what she even does for a living, who these other people are and what connection she has to them. It was just basically the audience waiting for the next big fight scene. Other critics are toting this as the anti-MI:4 but at least in MI:4 in 2 hours you had some sort of connection to the characters, you were rooting for them. To me, MI:4 wasn't about the spectacle or the big stunts, even though that was still great, it was about the characters and really liking the story and their interaction. Haywire was the very opposite of that. There was almost no information about anyone and by the end you left the theater scratching your head not sure exactly what you watched or why anything even happened. Maybe I'm just too dumb to see it, maybe it's a statement on how people do come into your life for a short amount of time then leave just like a movie but still, I think it was just lazy story-telling.

It was alright. I liked the fight sequences but I don't think I would see it again.