War Horse...oh God.

So I saw War Horse over the New Year's weekend...and can I just say...most depressing movie ever...?

That doesn't seem to make much sense, I know and it's supposed to be this heartwarming tale about a horse and his boy but seriously...it was the most depressing movie I've seen in a while. I think it's because I don't usually watch "drama" type movies, preferring to stay with action/adventure/superhero/comedy (any fluff whatsoever). I'm not a big fan of the drama genre because I don't like watching stories about other people's messed up lives. We know life is messed up...why must I spend 10+ dollars and 2 hours of my time to just see it confirmed in cinematic form? If I see a movie, I want to escape reality...that's the point. Not see it thrown back in my face...

The trailer was really misleading...seriously.

Anyway, spoiler alert.

So it started out and it was all nice and peachy, and I was like "hey this is pretty good." It was all very coming of age and bonding between this horse and the boy and a lot of uplifting triumphs and all that and then...

The boy's family's farm's radish crop failed...and it was all downhill from there.

World War I broke out.

Then, the horse was sold to this captain played by Tom Hiddleston (I was very excited about him being in the movie. I think he's a great actor.) And then ten minutes later he DIES. So I was sort of heartbroken by the first 30 minutes of the movie. He was such a nice character and he was very kind to the boy and to the horse.

And then the horse gets captured and put in the care of these two really young German soldiers who are brothers, one of which is only 14 years old. The younger brother gets called to the front line while the older is ordered to stay behind and care for the horses. The older brother made a promise to their mother to take care of the younger sibling so he steals two horses, one of which is THE horse, and they desert the army in France, hiding out in a windmill. They get found and SHOT for deserting...so they die.

Then the horses get found by this French girl who's not very healthy and living with her grandpa. She's an orphan and when she finds the horses she keeps them because she wants to learn how to ride. The German army comes through and takes everything of value/foodstuffs from the grandpa's farm. So he lets her take her mother's saddle and ride up the hill...but on the other side there's the German army again who take the horses.

Now the horses are used to pull huge artillery to wherever they need to be. They're extremely heavy and look like modernized cannons which they are. They need a team of 8 horses to pull it up the mountain and the horses don't last very long at this job because it's very difficult to constantly haul these things, so a lot just fall down dead from overwork. The black horse gets injured and DIES...again...with the dying.

And the other horse, THE horse, runs away from the German army into no man's land and gets caught up in the wire.

You find out that the boy had joined the army by this time and is fighting in the general area. He goes with a friend from his village and the friend gets engulfed by gas and DIES.

And there's a heart warming scene about the British and German army putting aside their differences to free THE horse and the horse gets taken back to the camp and the boy proves that it's his horse by describing it even though he's blind at the time from the gas.

But he has to buy the horse back because it's getting put up for auction. But the french grandfather pays the highest bid because his granddaughter DIED during the war...

And that's the last death in the movie. But seriously.

I mean by that time, I didn't even care that the horse and the boy were together again and they were going to live happily ever after because seriously EVERYONE DIED. Except the horse. And the boy.

I know it's based in World War I and WWI was an especially difficult war, what with the trenchfoot and shellshock and high death tolls and all that. It is a war after all, but seriously...does everyone have to die? If I didn't know any better, I would say the horse is cursed.

And the ending scene where the horse and boy are riding home is shot very oddly. The color is oversaturated with reds and oranges because it's the sunset and you really only see the silhouettes of the people. It almost looks like that one scene in Gone with the Wind where Scarlet O'Hara is telling the sky, "I'll never go hungry again". It jarred me out of the movie because none of the other parts were filmed that way. Was it supposed to be like a nostalgic thing? Like a throwback to Gone with the Wind? Or was he trying to say something about how the audience doesn't get to see this homecoming because it's too personal so he's shutting us out? Or what...?

So I do not really recommend the movie unless you want to be depressed when you get out of the theater.

The whole rest of the night, I just kept announcing, "I'm so depressed!" like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...because I was!

No bueno.

Mission Impossible 4: Not as bad as I thought it would be...

As River Song says, "Spoilers [below]." 

Just let me get this out right now...I don't like Tom Cruise. I never liked Tom Cruise, I don't think I ever will like Tom Cruise. There's just something kind of creepy about him. I never watched any of his movies except for the Mission Impossible series and he kinda just scares me.

So I saw this movie because I love love love action movies and not for Tom Cruise.

The good:

+The main cast (other than Tom Cruise)--a STELLAR cast. I mean any cast with Simon Pegg is automatically a stellar cast but still, amazing amazing.

       =Simon Pegg as Benji: Oh dear Lord, I love this man. He can do no wrong in my book. Ever since I saw him in Hot Fuzz it's like he just keeps getting more and more amazing. There's something so innately funny about him. I love all his lines, when he's Russian and babbling and when he goes "You'll regret this, Private Egorov, pshh." He brought some great comedic timing to this action movie and I love comedy-action. Every piece of dialogue he says is an automatic great one-liner. And when he gets all serious I love him even more! When he shoots Winstrom from down the corridor, the look on his face is bad-ass.

      =Paula Patton as Jane Carter: I actually really really really liked her. She wasn't annoying and she could kick some serious ass! And she looks right for the part too. She looks muscular and strong, like she could beat up grown men. And has that amazing fight scene with Lea Seydoux as the assassin where she literally launches herself across the hallway, like a lion or something. Kristen Kreuk and Lauren German were rumored to be considered for the role...(there's Lauren German again...geez can I not escape from her?) and omg it would have been kinda horrible if they had been picked. With their little stick arms?? I can hardly imagine them being able to fire a gun let alone incapacitate two grown men. I can only imagine Kristen Kreuk running around wide-eyed hardly able to do anything and Lauren German trying to act but only succeeding in looking wooden and hardly believable when it comes to more "emotional" scenes. And Paula Patton is so pretty! Not the conventional stick thin. I was rooting for her the whole time and she could definitely hold her own. I like how even though they had that cliche of a woman agent having to seduce the old rich guy, she was actually feeling really insecure about herself. Yeah. I hope she gets her own spin off or is included in more MI movies. I liked her backstory as well with that Agent Hannway, it was a smart move on the writers part because it automatically made her a likable character.

     =Jeremy Renner as William Brandt: Can I just say Jeremy Renner is freaking awesome? I've been a fan of his since The Unusuals and then The Hurt Locker and he can really do not wrong. I saw Thor so I could see the cameo of Hawkeye....is that taking my fan-ing to an extreme level? Oh well. He's smart, funny, and is seriously great at the fighting parts. He is also more comedic than I originally thought he was going to be. He's obviously the "straight" man to everyone's slightly more funny selves but then as the movie goes on, he gets more and more hilarious. When he does the lunges before he jumps into the tunnel. ("Next time, I get to seduce the rich guy.") Hilarious. And he was actually sort of sweet in this film...he kinda plays douche-y characters a lot of times. In The Town, in The Unusuals, S.W.A.T., in Dahmer (...well he played a serial killer in that one...so...haha) even in The Hurt Locker, so it was nice to see him actually being a nice, caring person...for once. I liked his backstory, and I liked that I felt sort of sorry for him in the middle of the movie and then happy for him by the end. And I liked his banter with Benji ("I think we've glossed over a big part of the plan. I-I jump and then..." "And I catch you..." "It's a 25 foot drop! They're MAGNETS." "What part of I catch you don't you understand?"). I think his character is gonna stick around for the next one? I heard his character is supposed to take over when Tom Cruise decides to step down. Also, next year is gonna be the year of Jeremy Renner. Like how 2011 was the year of Ryan Gosling (who I don't really like). He's gonna be in The Avengers and then in The Bourne Legacy, both action movies so I'm excited to see him beat some people up. I think he does action movies really well. (His hands kinda bother me because they remind me of this guy's hands that I know...and I don't really like the guy...so I automatically associate those types of hands with that guy I don't like...it's a weird thing...I know.)

   =Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt: Alright, so I don't like Tom Cruise but luckily he wasn't really focused on that much in this movie. In the third one it was all about Tom Cruise and...the third one was boringggg...In this one, he didn't speak too much so that was good...and a lot of his acting was all about subtle acting in his face which I thought was smart. When he talks too much I get annoyed. It was good acting when he says through gritted teeth, "I am. taking. that. briefcase." And his little snarky comments to everyone. He was an interesting and likable character but I'm still not a fan of Tom Cruise. At least he didn't smile in this one, I liked that he was a lot more broody. His smile reminds me of The Joker from Batman (not exactly a comforting expression on his face, more...uncomfortable...).

+The Director: Brad Bird. Oh Brad Bird. I love you. I loved The Incredibles and I loved Ratatouille and I loved The Iron Giant. You can do almost no wrong in my book. I love his comedic timing. That's the one thing I really really admired about this movie. It was action-packed but it was still funny. The moment where Ethan is trying to get back into the room but his line is too short and Brandt goes, "The rope isn't long enough!" and Ethan replies, "NO SHIT!" Or when he tries to catapult himself back into the room and you think he's gonna make it because it's a movie and that's how all the heroes are (they're perfect), he instead stops his fall with his face, runs into the top of the window and almost falls to his death. There are plenty of moments where you're like "OH (ouch ouch ouch that's gotta hurt)." Bird also does suspense really well and fight scenes. There was one scene which was almost exactly like the The Incredibles though...and I wish I could remember what it was but I can't...

+The fight scenes and action: Pretty great. Stuff I had never seen before. The technology was good. That car was kinda freaking amazing. And that blow up crash bag that you can throw and then it blows up before you fall and smash every bone in your body was pretty cool. I wonder if that can actually work...I mean isn't it like trying to land on an air mattress? Does it really cushion your fall? But I digress. The screen with the camera thing was also pretty cool. And the fighting between Brandt and Cruise and the fighting between Brandt, Cruise and those bodyguards...and just fighting in general. Although, I would wonder about when Brandt is fighting Winstrom, how come he couldn't get his way out of that one? I mean we had just seen him break a guy's leg with his arms...he can't get out of Winstrom's hold? Maybe it was to show that Benji can shoot a gun... Hunt's fight with the bad guy was pretty great. Just because it was a bunch of older guys duke-ing it out and basically injuring themselves a whole bunch. That whole time I was just wincing because they...are just so...not young. And when he goes into the car and drives it off the elevator...I was wincing with him. But how come the old bad guy can match Tom Cruise in a fight? That is sort of...reaching a bit. I mean seriously? He breaks Cruise's leg with a kick...unless it's a mighty Kung Fu kick...I don't see that happening. Who taught him to fight anyway? A martial arts master? Are they frequent in Germany or Belgium or wherever he came from? On top of being just naturally crazy and planning nuclear world war, does he go to the dojo and bang out some karate? That was asking the audience a bit too much in the suspending disbelief department.

+The comedy: The comedy was so great. I loved the countdown that Brandt does and that rich Indian guy who is only on for like five minutes and yet almost steals the show. He makes Agent Carter find him in his party and then he does that little dance to get out of his shoes and then she wrestles him into a hold. It's hilarious. Or when Brandt has to convince himself to jump into that wind tunnel. Or the Russians. Bogdan and his "SERGEI!"

+The music: was actually very good. I liked the classic MI theme coming in at pivotal moments and the placement of those recognizable notes was extremely smart. And the score around the theme was very good at building suspense. I only noticed it the second time I saw it but I realized it was a pretty good score.


The eh:

+The editing: The beginning was kind of slow. It could have been cut a little better so that it would flow a little better. Just a little shave here and there, time-wise and it would have been a better cut, tighter movie. It isn't really until after the Secretary tells Hunt about the IMF being disavowed does it start to flow better and become more suspenseful. I think he focused a little too much on the comedy in the beginning part. I liked the comedy, don't get me wrong, but I think it just slowed down the pace of the movie too much. The ending fighting scenes could have been better cut as well, I think. The fight scenes in the middle where it's quick and brutal had more of an impact for me than the ones that drag on and on. I mean, again, I can't really believe that that crazy Professor "Cobalt" could really match Ethan Hunt in fighting techniques and yet Hunt and Brandt can dispatch the assassin's bodyguards in one fell swoop, can you? Maybe if they had made it more into a gun fight it would be a little more believable. Or if he had a bad wound or something. And again with Brandt vs. Winstrom.

+The plot (kinda): WELL, I can give this a little more slack. I liked how they kept getting foiled until the last minute. It made for a really high suspense situation. I mean obviously it couldn't happen because it's a Mission Impossible movie and they never fail but the whole time you were thinking but what if the director throws us for a loop and they do fail? It's like he was playing chicken with the audience. But I was interested in the plot holes. Like when Hunt's impersonating the Russian general and they're bringing all that equipment into the suitcases and it goes through the metal detector and X-ray machine. I mean wouldn't the security of the Kremlin ask questions? Or is it because he's supposedly a high-ranking general that they don't give the bloody screen, camera and ipad a second look? Or how did Cobalt know they were gonna be in the Kremlin at that time? How did the Russians know that Hunt was in Dubai? And why Dubai? Didn't anyone see a little figure hanging off the hotel and ask questions? I mean he did crash through the window with that wooden spool thing, wouldn't they have looked up if they felt glass raining on them? And is the window really that weak that a wooden spool could break it? If that's the case, I am never going to that hotel. ever. And why did the technology keep failing? It's like Spy Kids and how the Machete brand never works. How realistic is this plot anyway? Why would some dude just be walking about with Russian nuclear launch codes? Even though I'm pointing them out and making fun of them, I still like this movie. It's just interesting to look at the holes.

+Sort of cheesy dialogue: When Ethan is making that speech about needing them all..."We've all got to do this together," all I could think about was High School Musical, "We're all in this together" which made me laugh. No one can say that anymore without me thinking that. The writers should have picked a better line. The dialogue wasn't the best all the time...but then again who's paying attention to the dialogue with all the fighting and explosions going on?

+Lea Seydoux: She's extremely beautiful but I didn't really believe she could be an assassin that would be able to beat up people. Maybe with a gun she would reign supreme but hand-to-hand fighting? Not so much. She did play it well though. I didn't like her at all which is how it should be. And when she was kicked out the window...I was actually kind of happy. Again, which is how the audience should react.

DS9: Reviews

So I've watched quite a few DS 9 episodes since my last review. I don't know if I wanna go through all of them, just a few that I remember things about or my irks about each one I guess.

Season 1, Episode 15--Progress: It was alright. I didn't hate it, I didn't love it. Although I didn't really like how Major Kira acted in this episode. How can she continue being a badass if she falls for every sob story that comes along? One man's home is more important than the power needs of her whole damn planet? I would have just told the old man to move, or we'll transport you out of there by force. Which I guess is good that I wasn't in her place, because I'm mean. I don't even remember how the episode was resolved. Shows how much I cared about it...

Season 1, Episode 16--If Wishes Were Horses: This one was kind of stupid. It had to do with the mind giving fear a physical manifestation. Again. Okay, it wasn't fear this time, it was "imagination" but it was still stupid. The way they solved the problem was to "believe" that it wasn't happening. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know this was a Disney film. Why would O'Brien wish Rumplestiltskin into appearance anyway? And they weren't just figments of the crew's imagination but actual aliens coming to observe them. But again, why? They never said why it was. I feel like the whole premise was just an excuse to film Odo chasing an emu down the Promenade. Because, that was damn funny. Poor man.

Season 1, Episode 17--The Forsaken: Oh this episode was so cute. Not much in plot but a lot in character development. Poor Odo. An ambassador comes and develops an affection for him and he doesn't know how to handle it. He was so confused and flustered, he was actually running away from the woman. And then they get stuck in an elevator and she babbles on and he can't stand the noise but lets her talk but is obviously not listening at all. And then he melts. Which I thought was sweet at the end, that she catches him in her skirt. And that was the episode...

Season 1, Episode 18--Dramatis Personae: Another stupid mind episode. This time it wasn't fear that was messing with anyone, or imagination, but a sense of mutiny and discord. Do they have to go through every possible emotion before the end of the series? The next one they're gonna do is happiness where everyone skips through a field of happy pretty flowers, braids each other's hair, and then end the day holding hands and singing "Kumbaya." That'll be the day. I hope that that never ever happens. And I don't even know what it, that mist thing, was.  Again, goes to show how much I pay attention when I don't really care. But Odo is the only one who doesn't change his personality and he has to save everyone by playing to everyone which I thought was pretty cunning of him. What was the purpose of that mist thing anyway? I was trying to figure it out, like maybe it was to show warn people not to fight with each other. But then I was like, that makes no sense whatsoever. There was no reason to have this episode. It wasn't plot development, because the problem gets resolved in the end or character development because everyone was off their rocker and acting totally out of character. The only character it really showed was Odo and how smart he was...which is great, I love Odo, but really? A whole episode to show Odo's greatness? Maybe it was supposed to show how Kira and Sisko are getting along better and acting as more of a united front by the end of the episode...but that was in like the last 2 minutes. The rest of the 43 minutes was Kira trying to kill Sisko and take over the station. So they didn't really make that clear.

Season 1, Episode 19--Duet: This was actually a pretty good episode. The tense relations between the Cardassians and the Bajorans are actually an interesting look at how people deal with a war suddenly being over but the fears and animosity between an invading force and the people they oppressed still being a problem. Kira captures a Cardassian who claims to be the military leader of a Bajoran work camp that was akin to the Concentration camps of the Nazis. She was there when the camp was liberated and saw the death and destruction brought on by the Cardassians. So she is overjoyed to see that the General of the camp is in her custody and the people of Bajor. She wants to put him on trial as a war criminal but Sisko is reluctant to give him up just yet. They end up finding out that this Cardassian altered his looks and wanted to be taken prisoner of Bajor because he was a filing clerk that worked at the camp and felt overwhelming guilt at what his people did to the people of Bajor. He said he heard the screams and he couldn't stop them. He thought maybe if he looked like this general and was caught and found guilty in Bajor, the Cardassians wouldn't be able to deny their involvement in these horrible deeds. But Kira releases him, only to have him get killed by another Bajoran who says all Cardassians are the same, what is the harm of one less?

It was a good episode in which Kira realizes that while the Cardassians as a whole were not great people, that some were truly horrible and relished their status as the Bajorans' captors, others were scared, didn't believe in what they were doing to Bajor and yet couldn't stop the machine that was their government which had already started to move against the Bajorans. And then after the war had stopped were overcome with guilt. She may have started to forgive the Cardassians a bit and yet her realization is not shared by the rest of Bajor. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out in the future, as the Cardassians become more and more of a threat again.

Season 1, Episode 20--In The Hands of the Prophets: Another great episode. The Bajorans are one of the only alien species that have such a strong religious belief. The Vulcans, ever the practical ones, never seemed to put much stock in faith, neither do the Romulans or the Ferengi. Even humans don't have much of a strong religious background, the implication being that once a species has reached Warp capability then they have devoted themselves wholly to science. But Bajor is deeply religious and this is a fascinating angle to play with. Some of the nuns? monks? they call them Vedics are more strict about religion than others and one, a Vedic Winn, does not approve of DS9's school teaching about the aliens in the wormhole. In Bajor, they consider the Aliens as prophets. It's sort of like the argument between the evolutionists and the creationists and what should be taught in school. Vedic Winn would be considered the "creationist" in this context. She believes that the Federation should leave the teaching of Bajoran children to the Bajorans while Keiko O'Brien, the teacher of the school, believes that everything should be taught, yet not the religion because school should teach facts, not beliefs. It's a question not easily answered in the real world. How much does religion play into schooling? Some people say none at all, others say that if evolution is taught then creation should get an equal say. I say, well I'm Christian so I say creation is true. But that's just me. But I don't think it needs to be taught in schools persay. I mean just pushing this agenda is not the point. People need to worry about other things, like the massive unemployment that plagues this country, or the problems in the Middle East, or the problems that we have in the actual United States rather than these petty arguments about government vs. religion...but I digress. Anyway, Vedic Winn turns out to be bad and she starts up this Bajoran religion hoohah to get the other Vedic up there so that he can be assassinated and she can be the next "Kai" (or their like Pope person). She made one of her followers plant a bomb in the school and all this other stuff, so she's really a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket and not all the Bajorans follow her but it sets up for the major story arc in the next season...where Bajor is having problems and the Bajoran people want to have a Bajor for themselves without any foreign aid or the presence of Star Fleet.

Season 2, Episode 1-3: Kira goes to find this Bajoran prisoner of war still being held captive by the Cardassians who she says is the only one who can bring unity to Bajor. This is a huge story arc that goes on for three episodes. Something that I haven't seen from a Star Trek series. Usually they have two parters but never three. It's a very quick look at how a provisional government can fall to extremists in a place where there doesn't seem to be strong leadership. A group calling themselves the "Circle" wants a Bajor for Bajorans without the interference of outsiders such as Star Fleet. But there is a need for the Federation at the mouth of the wormhole and at Bajor that isn't strictly selfish. Without the presence of Star Fleet the Cardassians would swoop in again and invade Bajor...again. What the Circle doesn't seem to understand is that Bajor isn't strong enough to hold off another Cardassians invasion, no matter how much they want a Bajor for Bajorans. The Circle tries for a coup and yet they end up failing. For one, they were getting weapons from the Cardassians who are just waiting for the Bajorans to kick out Star Fleet so that they can come back, and for another I don't think Bajorans want to fight again. Hopefully in the future Bajor can have a stronger government leadership. The War Hero Li Nalas ends up dying and dies as a martyr, a symbol for the Bajorans. And the provisional government comes back into place...I think. I wonder what will happen to Bajor in the future. The provisional government is shaky at best and I don't think this is the last we'll hear from Vedic Winn and her "Circle" friends. There are 6 whole seasons more. So we'll see.

DS9 Review: "The Storyteller"

So the whole premise of this episode is about the Bajoran world. O'Brien and Bashir go to Bajor while two Bajoran factions who are arguing about land come to the Space Station to negotiate terms of a land treaty. It was an alright episode. I wasn't that into it. I'm not a huge fan of episodes that center on Nog and Jake. I don't like Nog in general. He just annoys me.

The good:

+Bashir was quite funny in this episode. How he's trying to get on O'Brien's good side and when he has a sneaking suspicion that O'Brien doesn't like him...well when O'Brien gets stuck being the Sirrah (or storyteller for a Bajoran village that they visit) Bashir cannot hide his glee. And he's constantly goading the situation to get more and more uncomfortable for O'Brien.

+Other than that...I can't think of anything I thought was good.

The Eh:

+Again, Jake and Nog-centric episodes always annoy me. They're irritating and I don't like it when they do stuff to get into trouble. I felt bad for Odo this episode because they go and try to steal where he sleeps (which is in a bucket in his office) and Nog fills it with oatmeal and throws it on Jake and Odo catches them. I felt like they were disrespecting Odo and driving home the point that Odo is "different" just to impress some girl. I know it's supposed to be harmless fun but it's still not a great way to act.

+The young girl who played the leader of one of the factions arguing could not act for beans. You can tell she had a hard time speaking the lines and it just sounded so fake. I don't like it when people can't act well...it throws me out of the story.

+The guy who tries to kill O'Brien and then turns out to be good. What? Why would he go and try to kill him and not just sit down and talk to the guy? Could he seriously not see that O'Brien didn't want the job? I mean if he had killed him then he would have regretted it because O'Brien didn't even WANT to be the Sirrah.

+The stupid monster thing. Really? A manifestation of their fears? WHY would you make something like that in the first place anyway? That is so dumb. Once a year the whole village has to freaking come together and "believe" that they can defeat this thing. Are the villagers really that dumb to need a "Storyteller" to make them "band together"? Why can't they just band together themselves. Why won't the "Storyteller" tell them that it's their own dumb fears that is creating the monster? Then they could stop having a monster! Uhh duh?

Hopefully the next episode is better? Hopefully more other people centered.

Hawaii 5-0: Ki'ilua

Usually I don't review specific episodes of shows but this was the one episode I was actually on set for. I don't know if this will become a regular thing considering usually I just like watching the stories and don't really like coming up with words about the stories. I think I'm just pretty lazy.

(SPOILERS)

The geeking out:

So so so! I was there when they were filming! I got to see all the principal actors and meet Mark Dacascos. And Alex O'Loughlin talked AT me...not really TO me. Or he was just talking to himself about Milkduds in which case, then he's...sort of crazy.

I went with the military trucks and jeeps you see in the episode because the museum I volunteer with loans them out to the production company.

I made friends with all the stunt guys and the North Korean rebel soldier guys. They were all extremely nice. Whenever they were behind the camera they would come talk with me and we all ate lunch together all the time. Especially since I'm Korean and they were all supposed to be Korean, we just bonded over being Asian.

The dude who was speaking Korean was actually Korean which is good and he did really well considering he had never acted before in his life. He called me "little one" because dude, did you see how tall he was? At least a foot and a half taller then me. And he had to do a stunt where he rifle butt's Alex O'Loughlin in the face and I was there when the Stunt Director was giving him pointers on how to do it. He said to not be anxious or else the nervous energy would propel him more forward than what was comfortable for the actor and he would really hit Alex O'Loughlin in the face. Haha. Poor guy, he was so nervous he couldn't even think properly.

Mark Dacascos is the nicest man ever. Seriously. I spoke with him for like an hour about bugs and Iron Chef and martial arts and Dancing with the Stars. I did some weird arm movements and he teased me about it. He wanted to invite me to a party along with this stunt guy named Darryl but I don't live in LA. I was like darn. He said that he doesn't really get to act that much in Hawaii 5-0 other than a lot of looking mysterious and menacing. Or a lot of escaping. Haha. He also said that he tries to think of a different style of martial arts for every character he plays. It's true, he doesn't have that many dialogue scenes but at least the show will keep him on for a while. He escapes again! Haha.

Alex O'Loughlin talked to me...or at least at me...about Milkduds. Because he had never had any before. And was asking one of the Prop guys what a milkdud consisted of. The prop guy answered, "Caramel covered with a layer of extremely delicate chocolate (put in italics for the most sarcastic effect)." And Alex replies, "The chocolate is extremely delicate," through a mouthful of Milkduds. And then he turns to me because I've been watching this hilarious exchange and goes, "Milkduds, you should try them," and grabs another box, cocks his head at me and then goes off to set up the next shot. The whole time, I don't know what's going on in my mind but I'm like SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT. But doesn't happen. The next time he talked at me is when he tried throwing something into the trashcan and missed and yelled out, "THAT F***ING SUCKS," really loudly and then glanced and me and says, "Oops, shouldn't say that."

Terry O'Quinn is also extremely nice. And he talked to me! About if the scene was wrapped and I was like Oh uh I don't know? And he was like Oh okay, and then apologized for putting me on the spot. !!! He's also kind of odd. When everyone else was lounging in the tent for "cast members only," he dragged his chair out to the edge of the field which looked at the Kualoa mountains with his guitar and strummed for the entire break. Which is actually a refreshing change from everyone else who are glued to their phones every time they're on break.

Lauren German and Scott Caan seem like they have a thing going on. They had a mini-tickle fight in the middle of a scene set up. It was very odd and it was intense enough for them to end up on the ground which was kind of gross considering there were cow patties everywhere.

I saw the helo take off and land which was really cool. To see a Huey make those kind of maneuvers which are actually very difficult.

I had to hear them say "Don't get married. Just find a woman you really hate and BUY HER A HOUSE," like five million times and hear the fake laughter every time afterward. After the 20th time, it's just not that funny.

The guy who was playing Jenna's dead fiancee had to walk around with makeup that made him look like a corpse for at least 2 days. He didn't have a name, the PA's and AD's just called him "The Dead Guy". One time I was in the van that take everyone everywhere and over the radio one of the AD's goes, "Uh, The Dead Guy wants to go back to base camp," and I cracked up.

I know the guy who drove the jeep onscreen. He's an actual transportation guy who drives the vans that the cast and crew take to get to location. His name is Andy.

I got to intern with the lighting guys one day. That was pretty fun for a while. They take these heavy duty golf carts called "gators" everywhere.

The gunshots were blanks shot from real guns meaning the sound was FREAKING LOUD. And the actors have a grand ol' time with them. They get as giddy as schoolboys really. And do the AD's have to scream FIRE IN THE HOLE every time the actors hold the gun? I get all ready to close my ears and then it's actually another 5-10 minutes before they actually shoot the gun.

The scenes where they're in the covered trucks and the trucks are driving along was never shot with the trucks actually driving. Instead the truck was stationary and some huge guy was on the side of it trying to push it and jumping up and down on it to make it look like it was moving. Sometimes the director said the pushing was too uniform so they would have to do the scene all over again to make the bounces look more random. At one time there were three different guys on the cab of the truck to make it move.

The scene where they film Wo Fat in the cab of the truck and he's looking at the bridge explode was filmed in a stationary truck with people with tree branches running past the light to look like shadows for when the truck was supposed to be "moving". Watching them was like watching a very weird game of ring around the rosey or duck duck goose, or maybe some sort of ritual dance.

Scott's dog is so cute. Her name is Dot and she just roamed around set. Scott Caan IS his character like when Dot was chewing at some grass and he turns to her and goes "Dot, why'd you gotta eat everything huh?"

I wish I had gotten photos but I'm a chicken and never ask.

The Good:

Larissa Oleynik's acting in this one. She was so good. I think I always think of her as that teenager in "10 Things I Hate About You" or "Alex Mack" so I never really realize how great she is as an actress but she's amazing in this one. I always liked her character so I'm really sad that she won't be with the show anymore. Lauren German doesn't really compare. Her acting is kind of wooden. I already wrote a post about this. I think some of her redeeming moments though was the Halloween episode and the one afterward where she and Max seem to have a really strong bond. That's pretty cute.

The premise was interesting. I liked the North Korean setting. I mean I'm Korean so the way they place Koreans into any plot for any show is always interesting to me. And the Korean sounded pretty good, they must have gotten actual Koreans to say the lines. Other than Alex O'Loughlin's "Okay, okay" in Korean...that was pretty bad. But he had just learned it like five minutes before and asked that one Korean dude, Andy I think his name was, about how to say it. Oh wait, he had to say "Do you wanna die?" in Korean as well...which wasn't that great and I didn't understand what he said until I heard it like a third time and then I was like Oh. But oh well, he's not Korean so I understand.

I like the twist that Jenna Kaye was with Wo Fat. I thought that it was smart to bring that in. It was character development, made her interesting and brought in a well crafted scene of confrontation between McGarrett and Kaye.

The cinematography was beautiful and the color grading. They always make Hawaii look way more pretty than it usually is. Only when the sun is shining and the skies are really blue does Hawaii look that way. And of course, since Hawaii was being substituted for Korea, they make Korea look pretty good as well, just by default.

I like how they dealt with Kaye's death. It was quick and startling and just shows how brutal Wo Fat can be. He's not a good guy and he discards people once they run out of use.

The Eh:

Alex O'Loughlin, I love ya but your acting needs some work. Not all of it but when you're supposed to be all secretive with Kaye at Kualoa Beach Park doesn't mean that you have to look around every 3 seconds. It's kind of distracting when you do that. Be a little more subtle, dear.

Korea is not that pretty and I don't think we have red dirt. Or palm trees. The only palm trees we have is in Jeju Island which is not anywhere where they're supposed to be. I also think they flew over some pineapple plantations. We don't have any of that in Korea. At all. And why did they fly out over the ocean? Are they going back to South Korea that way? If that's the case they should have made it more clear instead of making it look like they were gonna go fly to Japan in a Huey.

Lori Westin's character, I still don't like that much. Like why did she hug Steve at the end? It was so unnecessary other than to tell the audience SHE CARES but she's not even that much of a touchy-feely person. Keep her consistent people!

This episode was pretty good. At least considering I got to watch it being filmed. I love behind the scenes stuff.

Love Never Dies....I wish this show would though....

So, after the many success of Andrew Lloyd Webber...Cats, Evita, Jesus Christ Superstar and The Phantom of the Opera, he thought to himself, let me try for lightning one more time and decided that the only way to do that would be to take the monumental success of Phantom and milk it for all it's worth. Thus the monstrous creation of Love Never Dies was born.

It might be ironic that I'm using "monstrous creation" to describe a show in which the main character could also be described as a "monstrous creation" but I don't know how else to put it. There are just so many things wrong with this show that I don't even know if I can put it all into coherent sentences. But I can try.

Where do I begin...? (SPOILERS)

+The original musical was set in 1881. Andrew Lloyd Webber (who I will be referring to as "ALW" from now on) decided that the new musical would be set "ten years after the original story" in 1907...now I don't know who decided to do the math on this one but they should fire that guy. Ten years in the future would be 1891. 1907 is 26 years in the future. By that time, Christine would be a matron of 40-something years of age and the Phantom would either be really old or a corpse already. Oooh, romantic. I think the only reason they decided to place it further in time was so that the costume and hair people could make Christine into a Gibson girl. Why else would they put it so far ahead?

+They changed the Phantom's age AGAIN. They wanted to make the Phantom closer in age to Christine so it wouldn't be creepy when he was all seducing her. They seem to forget...the Phantom is a creepy old man. He may be misguided and tragic and a musical genius but he is also creepy. It's part of his charm I suppose. Which actually makes sense, I mean considering he's so old and yet has never loved or felt loved, it makes it even more pity-inducing. He is the original 40-year old virgin.

But okay, obviously ALW changed the age from Leroux's original story. There the Phantom was closer to 60...so he's shaved off 20 years off his age. Why, Phantom, you are looking mighty good for a supposedly 60 year old. I get it, it makes it more of a love triangle if the Phantom is younger. But if you're gonna change something keep it consistent! Don't say all of a sudden, now the Phantom is only 10 years older than Christine because then it's like spitting in the wind. It's like everything I changed before is of no matter, what I do now matters. And changing his age alters who the Phantom is, it changes the amount of pity you have for him. It almost changes the most base thing about his character. It takes away some of the experiences he's had, some of his life which makes up who he is. How would he have made it to Persia and back in his short 30 year life span? I mean it's not like he could fly there.

+The fact that it takes place in Coney Island. Really? Coney Island? That's what you're gonna go with. He's gonna go from Paris, which has some of the most beautiful architecture, some of the best views, a beautiful city, to CONEY ISLAND? First of all, why would he go to America? It's not like he has friends there. Or anywhere. But out of all the places he could pick, why America? We know he's probably been to Persia. But why not England? Or Switzerland? Or Belgium? No one would look for him in Belgium...(Why do I pick on Belgium? Because as Hugh Laurie says, they're small.) It would be easier for him to disappear on a continent which house people that speak more the 2 languages rather than in a country where the citizens have problem speaking one. Or disappear to Asia, he could probably roam around and never be found out again. But if America is where he wants, then out of all the places he could go, why CONEY ISLAND? It says that he owns his own carnival called "Phantasma"...really? A carnival? It is said that he was in a cage at a traveling show before he escaped if we're taking the musical to be canon. If that's the case, then why in all things holy would he want to own a show of his own? Does it seem like he would be a good business man? That this business would be something he would be interested in at all? The way he's portrayed in the musical seems like all he cares about is music and Christine, there are no little boy aspirations to own a carnival of his own. He probably had horrible experiences at that show, I mean he escaped from it, didn't he? He didn't stay and have a grand ol' time being locked in a cage.

+The fact that Madame Giry and Meg helped him escape. I know it's convenient to have characters already know about him from the first musical but they never struck me as the type to actually want to get involved with the Phantom at all. Madame Giry helped Raoul get to a certain point underground but then said, "This is as far as I dare go..." and left him right quick. Meg made it all the way down there but she was just curious. And Meg and Madame Giry seem to have a pretty close and caring relationship. Why then would Madame Giry ever sell Meg off as a prostitute to make money for a guy she doesn't have any connection to? Doesn't she care about her daughter? And then Meg being jealous of Christine, she doesn't have ANY connection to the Phantom. It doesn't make sense. It wasn't like he was speaking to her in her dreams or tried seducing her and found out she had like a horrible voice or something and then decided "F*** that" and moved on. I doubt he even knew who she was.

+Raoul being a drunk and a gambler with no love for Christine. Okay, just to get this straight, I'm not a Christine/Raoul shipper or a Christine/Erik shipper. I just go with whatever the actual story says. He may be a fop, pompous and not as passionate but give the guy some slack. If there was one thing that was undeniable, it's that he loved Christine. He had to, to compete at all with the Phantom. He had to be sweet, endearing, stable, the light side of love, everything the Phantom seemed to lack. So for him to be angry all the time, a drunk and a gambler, goes against his character and sells him short. The audience has to believe that they are in love. While we're obviously siding with the Phantom, we have to understand why she leaves him. Only someone worthy can be the "other man" or else we wouldn't even consider him as the other side of this triangle and then the whole story would sort of implode on itself. Every time he would say "I love you" or "Don't throw your life away for my sake," the audience would just laugh.

+Christine loving the Phantom and having a child with him. The only way this story works is if Phantom's love for Christine is unrequited. You have to pity the man and understand why she can't be with him. There are many different kinds of love and I think the kind of love she had for the Phantom was not a romantic one. Actually I don't think she loved him at all. I think she pitied him in the end but pity isn't love. She made her choice, and it was with Raoul. I don't like how they changed that part of the musical to make a smoother transition between it and the sequel. Really, it's contrary to the words they are singing. Christine is angry at that part. She doesn't understand why the Phantom has such an infatuation with her or why he's doing all these things to hurt her now. She had never given him any such reason for this abuse or a sign that she loved him back. Those hypnotized scenes during "Music of the Night" don't count. Every time afterward she is scared of him or in awe of him. She knows she could never return the amount of intensity he has when it comes to her. And she and Raoul have a past together. So when she leaves the Phantom in the Final Lair scene it's feeling of relief that she can just leave all this behind. When she comes to return the ring she is not crying her eyes out and needing Raoul to physically take her away, it's more of a look of pity, of a returning of something she cannot possibly receive. And then she hurries away and lives her life! She doesn't have a son with the Phantom...how was that even...when did that even occur? If she can't look at the man without his mask on, how did she do something that requires physical intimacy? That is one thing that annoyed me about Kay's book. Christine goes back to visit the Phantom who is on his deathbed, the result of years of drug addiction and she somehow conceives a child with him. On his deathbed. How did they possibly get it on? He's supposed to be dying, and I don't know about you but I thought sex took energy. Energy he doesn't have...while he's DYING. Anyway, even in Leroux's original novel Erik tells her that he knows she loves Raoul. So even the Phantom in his rage induced delusions could see it. ...argh.

+The music was...not ALW's best work. There isn't anything exciting about the music. It's actually very boring stuff and very repetitive. It's been done before, it doesn't need to be done again, to such a horrible plot too. The Coney Island Waltz was one phrase over and over again and I don't need to hear it over and over again. I just wanted it to be over and then the title song "Love Never Dies"...dear Lord in heaven...Even if you have training it's difficult to sing. After a while it just sound like screeching. I don't know what ALW was thinking when he started composing these melodies but sometimes the human ear needs to rest from the highnotes or else you feel like your nose is going to start bleeding or your eyeballs will burst or something from the pressure. And for every song that "Christine" sings, she always has the most ear splitting high notes. In Phantom of the Opera, he knew how to utilize those highnotes as triumphant moments like at the end of "Think of Me," to show that Christine is actually an amazing singer like at the end of "Phantom of the Opera" or moments where there needs to be clarity like "Yet in his eyes..." or emotional moments like at the end of "Wishing you were somehow here again" not for the whole damn song. Which is how it is for "Love Never Dies" at least during the extensive and very long chorus section. In other songs too like "Once Upon Another Time" her whole part is extremely high as well as in "Beneath a Moonless Sky". The songs are TOO operatic in my opinion and I'm not one to say that since I love love love classical music but it just doesn't fit with the setting and how can half the songs be operatic and yet the other half be carnival music? At least with "Phantom" they were all in an opera house so it makes more sense and the songs balanced on a fine line between too opera and too musical theater. I would even argue that the original musical had actual songs that were all musical theater and less opera with just hints of opera to set the tone like with the addition of the made up Operas "Hannibal" and "Il Muto".

This is going to get sort of technical--I've noticed that ALW likes to reuse musical phrases. Much of his music is a repetition of specific phrases. (This means I've listened to this musical a LOT to notice). For example, "Music of the Night" if you actually sing it, it's a very repetitive song. There are about five verses, three times to sing something like a chorus and two bridges or in letter terms it would look something like this: AABCABCABB1. It's long and if you're actually singing it, it can get kind of boring without any acting behind it. But when you watch a good actor take the song and put everything behind it, you forget about the repetitive nature of the song and just go with it. Which is how it is in the original musical. Take a similar type of song like "Til I Hear You Sing" from Love Never Dies and it's extremely boring. Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty good song, but it takes way too long to build to any sort of climax, especially at the snail's pace everyone seems to sing it. "Music of the Night" there's a peak in the song by the first "C"and then a second one by the second "C" which takes you on a roller coaster of emotion. "Til I Hear You Sing" starts off really slowly to save all the emotion for the end but by that time I'm already sleeping. Three verses and a chorus goes by before any sort of emotional stirring goes on. But in the original musical ALW puts in all of these hints of beautiful melodies on top of the songs. In opera terms you would call them Recitativos, the sections before the Arias start that are just sung dialogue. A lot of times they are really beautiful melody snippets and ALW puts those in too which shake up a score that could be, if not careful, extremely repetitive. Parts like "Yet in his eyes..." or "Twisted every way" or "I have brought you...", the very beginning of "Point of No Return", "Little Lotte" etc. Even his overture, when I had listened to it again more closely, had added flourishes that I hadn't even heard before. A far more complex and intricate musical score than Love Never Dies. "Prima Donna" alone had seven different parts with people singing over each other and the melodies cascading in and out to give the listener a different type of musical experience. And it pains me to say these things because ALW is such a great composer who can write all kinds of music. It's amazing that he can go from Starlight Express and Jesus Christ Superstar which are more rock based music to Evita and Cats which are more traditional musical theater to freaking writing his own OPERA even if it was only a few snippets of it (Il Muto and Hannibal). To go from electric guitars to writing for a pipe organ! I mean only this man could do it. The amount of talent he has always astonishes me. So to go from that to writing "Bathing Beauty"...is extremely sad. (And supposedly the Phantom composed the little gem that is "Bathing Beauty"...he would have rathered skewer his ear drums than compose that sort of musical drivel.)

+The casting--well people know how I feel about Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess. I must say that Ramin has an amazing range though. He truly can go all over the place on the scale but how many times do I have to say it? The Phantom is a TENOR. He has a beautiful voice and has a great range but I still think that his voice should be a tenor voice. So to write a song for the Phantom where most of the notes are low...I don't know. It's just wrong to me. I know a lot of people say that Ramin is a baritenor but I think he sounds best at the lower notes that have some power behind them rather than higher notes. He's always a bit thin at the higher notes or he blasts them out and gets off-key which I don't like. And he's not a classically trained singer which I also don't like. I can hear it in his voice how he uses his throat more than his diaphragm. He's better than Gerard Butler (of course a lot of people are better than Butler...but I digress) but he isn't as polished as the Phantom's voice should be. He's supposed to be pitch-perfect and have a bell-like clarity which Karimloo does not have.

And Sierra Boggess's voice is just too screechy for me. Of course, with those songs it's easier to be. She did redeem herself with the acting though so that's good. Just not a fan of her singing.

Ugh. This musical just makes me so annoyed. It's like he just threw out his original one and I hate it when people try to change something that is so great already. It gives me all sorts of evil glee to know that it will never come to Broadway. Good for you Broadway, give that theater space to a musical that is actually good and leave this show to die.

The X Factor: Review

The show is rather bad isn't it?

I don't know what there is about it but I just wasn't that impressed. While I had little love for American Idol, I feel I still prefer that show to the one I watched last night. Maybe it's because of the simpering flattery of four judges who aren't that famous to deserve such words of reverence or the very bewildeirng song choice or maybe the contestants themselves who aren't up to snuff but I had no love for the show yesterday.

Let's start with the Judges. Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger, L.A. Reid and Simon Cowell would not know a great voice if they got bludgeoned with it. Either that or they are under contract to be extremely nice to every contestant which seems more likely the case. Because each singer was not the greatest ever. Maybe saying that on national TV was more like a confession in the judges' own inadequacies for none said anything of the sort, the artists were all praised to high heaven. The song choices were horrid and quite confusing. The need to "label" a singer as something one-dimensional, sickening. How is anyone supposed to be a musician when they are only allowed one type of music? Why pick songs that are either so out-dated or so out of touch with the artist? Why not allow the singers to pick songs they feel are the best suited to their OWN personality? What is the purpose of these so called "coaches" who are just leading them down the wrong path? It just seems like one big ego trip for Simon Cowell and maybe a little for the rest of the judges, so they can be in control of everything.

And the singers! What sort of travesty are they? Most of them weren't even on tune. Maybe it was the extremely bad choice of song with which they were forced to contend with or a deep-rooted nervousness at being live, but half of the singers were not on key. I kept waiting for them to become aware of their backing track, of the fact that they were not with it but they always disappointed. The only artists worth noting were Melanie Amaro, Rachel Crow, Drew, Astro and Marcus Canty. The rest could go, in my humble opinion.

This just shows how much of a judgemental person I am. I think if I was a jugde on that show I would be the meanest one there. I can hear off-key singing from a mile away and that would be my ultimate concern and ultimate fixation. I also have read way too much Phantom books so the title character's acerbic wit is now imprinted on my brain for now.

Let's hope they start getting better and that America doesn't vote the best off or else there will be no hope for this show.

Who wanted a second season?? ...