The Backstreet Boys.
Oh, don't give me that look. You've liked them too, one time or another, especially if you're my age or older. It was either them or N'Sync.
Was it something about the way they smoldered at the camera? The 90's dance moves? The cheesy outfits? The haircuts that were supposed to fit their differing "personalities"? Or maybe a combination of all that made boybands some of the most beloved music groups of all time? I mean even The Beatles could be considered a boyband...back in the day. The love of all-boy groups hasn't exactly been inspired all of sudden in the 90's, that sort of love has evolved over the decades. And even today, the Jonas Brothers were big for a while, and even good ol' BSB and NKOTB (or New Kids on the Block for anyone who doesn't know--or has been living under a rock) have been on a reunion tour to sold out audiences, so the love that I know I have for the Backstreet Boys hasn't exactly gone away for anyone else either.
But while I love the Backstreet Boys and I have to admit, a lot of their music videos...if not all of them, are very very cheesy. They can't help it, it's the boy band thing. But I stumbled upon the first version of "I'll Never Break Your Heart" and it's set in a Ski Resort. Seriously...a ski resort? Watch it.
Now, tell me that isn't totally random. Okay, I'm gonna break it down for you:
+The intro: who doesn't love some deep-voiced guy spouting off all the things that they think girls want to hear? It's not just the fact that it's kind of creepy, all I can think of is that Marvin Gaye song, "Let's Get It On." I don't know why.
+Location: They really put it in a ski resort...why? What's with the puffy jackets and goggle for no reason? It's not like it's for sex appeal, the guys are totally covered up! And the girls too so that's good. Maybe it's for the next point...
+One of the guys, Brian, draws a heart in the snow...dude, I knew you were a goofball but I had no idea you were that cheesy. It makes me wonder how you ever got your wife if you think that drawing a heart in the snow will make a girl love you.
+Nick looks like he's five.
+How come they all stand around looking pensive or in pain...? Or constipation? I don't know, I really can't tell sometimes. They just stand there while someone else is singing. Don't they have something better to do than stare into the camera while someone else is singing?
+The sweaters! Brian and AJ have the exact same sweater on. What? They get it 2 for 1 at the Hideous Sweater Sale?
Not that the new one is any better. Watch it.
+Nick's hair...that's all I have to say about that.
+The stereotypical rooms: They all have a room that's supposed to "match" their personalities? Whut? ...?
+The girls: They have to have all races, just to cover their whole demographic. Just saying.
+Howie's tear track motion at the "make you cry". I was just waiting for that cliche. Just waiting. Thank you for fulfilling it for me. It really made my day.
But I don't think that's the worst video. That honor goes to "Quit Playing Games with my Heart". Here's why. Watch it.
The bad:
+They're all in a Basketball court at NIGHT...who does that except for rapist/homeless people/pervs? If there were a bunch of boys singing in at a basketball court at night...I would run.
+The freakish close ups! I mean Brian is okay because usually he doesn't pull funky faces at the camera...but the rest of them? Like Howie and Nick...especially Nick. I think it was because he was so young and didn't really know how to be sexy so he was trying too hard...and boy was he trying too hard.
+Howie's random guitar playing. He played like two chords and then it cut away from him. That was the only shot of him with a guitar in the whole video. If they weren't going to use it why even put a little scene of it in?
+The whole bit in the rain. I understand that their fan base usually comprises of sexually frustrated teenage girls but seriously...in the rain? And Howie's weird undulations? Which just end up making you feel extremely uncomfortable, extremely dirty or both? Some of the shots it's only his naked torso rippling in front of the camera. Nick is the absolute opposite, he's supposedly tummy shy but you never see his torso in the video. Only from FAR FAR away. Most shot of Nick are close ups of his face in water. And then when he's with the rest of the guys, he's the farthest from camera. And it's actually really funny because he doesn't even look like he's part of the group. Just some blond white kid in the background doing some weird arm motions...
I do love this group...but seriously, how could you not make fun of them just a little bit? They certainly make it easy.
Don't get me started on N'Sync. If this is how I treat a group I actually like, how do you think I'll treat a group that I really have no love for?
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